This is love.

The story of a new beginning.

It all started on a brisk January day. The sky was clear and the air was fresh. Something was different about this day, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. All I could tell was that change and hope were slowly starting to come alive in my heart. Life was up to something and my heart was a little hesitant as I opened my eyes to greet the new day that was before me. Could this be real? Just a few months ago, my heart was completely shattered and I was still trying to put the pieces back together. My life fell apart in so many ways and hope was such a forgotten word for me. Did I even remember what it felt like to experience it? I smiled just by thinking about the possibility of it and it made me excited, but I quickly brushed off the illusion and tried to wake up. Reality was something much more different than the dreams of a 20 year old girl, lost in the uncertainty and pain of a dangerous, unwelcoming world. Walking fast on a busy street that day, I ran into him. I could’ve easily missed him in the sea of faces moving too fast for me to keep up. Yet there was something about his face that made me stop and pay attention. Have I seen him before? Why did I feel like I knew him from somewhere or that he knew me? I wanted to pick up my pace again but I just couldn’t. He looked at me with the most loving eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. “Good morning”, he said. His voice was strong, yet full of gentleness. I didn’t know what to say back and it almost felt like I didn’t need to have this conversation with him but the way he looked into my eyes made me feel at ease. I let out a shy “hello” and right after I said it, I looked down; ashamed. I remembered now, he was the one who told me a long time ago that he loved me, but my heart was someone else’s when that happened. I didn’t push him away once, I did it again and again. Did he still care about me after all these years? I just knew he won’t anymore as soon as he found out that I gave my heart away so easily; so many times. He told me he just wanted to walk with me for a little while if I had a minute and he said he’d never forgotten about me. I didn’t say much at all that day but he didn’t pressure me into saying anything I wasn’t ready to say yet. Looking at my watch, I realized that I was almost late and knowing I had such a busy day ahead of me, I told him I needed to go. Not wanting to keep me any longer he said “goodbye”, but before that he told me how happy he was to run into me and how eager he was to see me and talk to me again soon. I waved my hand and quickly got lost through the narrow streets. I saw him again the next day on that same street, where he was patiently waiting for me with his back against an old building. “I missed you”, he said- looking into my eyes, but I didn’t dare speak a word. He truly cared about me! How could he? I could hear my mind wondering aimlessly. I saw him again the next day, and the day after that. Slowly we began to share more and more. I thought that my vulnerability to him would cause me to feel unsafe, but the more I shared with him, the more protected and safe my heart felt. One day, he asked me to tell him about my past and I told him everything. Lovingly, he listened and waited for me to get done. As soon as I finished, I looked down..tears were streaming across my cheeks and falling against the pavement. He slowly raised my chin and looked into my eyes. To my surprise, he was crying also. “I’m so sorry.” That’s all I could say. Without a doubt in his tone, he said he forgave me and he will never stop loving me. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I was afraid I would soon wake up from such a beautiful dream. He told me there was beauty inside my heart that I wasn’t even aware of. How could I be beautiful after everything I’ve done? Was he blind? He told me that my past didn’t matter to him and that he didn’t even see my mistakes, instead he saw my heart. I told him that I did want to change, I did want to be a different person, but it just couldn’t be this easy. Could it? I struggled in doubt. He told me that all I had to do was take his hand and never look back. Whispering, he said, “I love you”. My heart stopped and I still couldn’t believe it but I knew it was real. Extending my hand, I said it back to him and he took my hand and held it close to his heart. How could I have been so wrong all these years? How was it possible that I was so deceived? I’ve been longing for a love like this all of my life, but I looked for it in all the wrong places. Yet he’d loved me all along and sacrificed so many years waiting for me. You might be wondering by now, who is this guy she’s talking about? His name is Jesus Christ. He rescued me from the mess I used to call my life and made everything new. I haven’t been the same since the day I met Him face to face. There’s so much more about Him that I didn’t know or just dismissed because I didn’t understand the truth. In His loving mercy, He made it possible for me to have another chance, a new beginning. Nothing has been the same ever since. His love changed me from the inside out. He showed me that I am a treasure in His arms because He shed His blood to forgive me of my sins. Now I know what true love really is. Now I know who I am in Him. Now I can love another human being because He has taught me to love and accept myself. All this wouldn’t have been possible without Him. Even though there is a place in my heart that aches for my other half, the love He loves me with is enough and it always will be, yet He knows when to bless me with the one He made just for me. Now I know what true love means and even though no human will ever love me quite like He does; I’ll know it’s true when I find it and I won’t be deceived again. He gave me a new heart. A heart that knows Him and sees the truth. Praise be to God for His infinite love and mercy! Praise be to Him for making all things new! I will never cease giving thanks to my God..

One Comment Add yours

  1. delia says:

    this took me back to when God changed my life… brought tears to my eyes and filled my heart with joy. praise God! keep writing you have a God given gift.

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