Discover God’s relentless love.
The light breeze was reviving and the birds’ song was just too beautiful to ignore. As I looked at the sky, I lost myself in the sun’s rays that poured through the clouds like rain. It was as if the sun was eager to share every last bit of its radiance before it set. The day that had almost passed weighed on my body and it felt so good to be able to just stare at the scene before me and to take it all in. It was perfect. I came here to pray but just before I could get my thoughts together and start conversing with God, I heard it deep inside my soul- soft yet undeniably clear, “You’ve been so wounded by your unmet desires but the reason why I haven’t fulfilled them is because you are more in love with them than with Me. I’ve been so jealous for you and I just couldn’t take the thought of losing your affection. I want to steal your heart! I want it to be all Mine.” The love that was quickly overflowing my heart washed over me like the ocean waves, strong and unstoppable. Did I really hear that? I knew I did, I would’ve never been able to realize that on my own. How could I have been so deaf? How could I have been so focused on what I wanted and completely missed Him, the One whose love gave me a reason to live? When did I stop being fulfilled by His love? When did I stop being in love with Him? Had my heart really started worshipping someone other than Him? It had- again and again. How could I have been so blind? I’ve been searching for my own desires and forgetting that He alone is my deepest desire. Even though my desires were noble, having them fulfilled would have caused me to forget Him even more. I would’ve had what I wanted but that would’ve never even came close to His love. I needed to rediscover His love first because I would only then be able to give my desires their rightful portion of my heart. I needed to love Him more than anything. More than what I wanted. I could feel such desire in His heart to love Him only- with all of my heart. In those moments, it was no longer about what I wanted but about His intense desire to capture my heart. His persistency. His commitment. His jealousy. It was overwhelming. As I tried to understand this love that is too strong for words to express, I became so thankful for every one of my circumstances; every one of my unfulfilled desires. Everything that mattered was His relentless pursuit of my heart. At times I thought He had forgotten about me but I couldn’t believe He allowed that pain because He was so jealous for me! Every bit of it was more than worth it! I was so thankful He is such a beautiful God and His love for me is so pure and so real. You know, we so often miss the point of it all. We forget that our heart’s desire needs to be for God alone and so many of our hearts burn for our idols. What we want starts to consume us and we become dissatisfied with God. We even get frustrated with Him when He starts holding out on us but if He were to fulfill our desires, we would find our fulfillment in them and fail to understand that He alone truly satisfies. I love the fact that God would never give us anything less than His very best. He gives Himself to us and sometimes it takes us a long time to realize that the reason why He is withholding things from us is because He wants us to desire Him more than anything else. Emptiness and disillusionment cause us to run to God because He becomes our only hope. If we had what we wanted, we would run to those things instead. When God is our only refuge, we start to realize that He alone is enough. Everything else fades in comparison to Him. You see, we often complicate our relationship with God but He never intended to make things hard for us to understand. God wants to be our deepest desire. It’s not because He is selfish but because He knows that our heart yearns for Him more than anything else. He alone can fulfill. He alone is the greatest happiness. He alone can love us the way we so need to be loved. Everything else is just a small glimmer of who He is to us. If you find yourself dissatisfied, take a moment to ask yourself where it is you are searching for your satisfaction and fulfillment. If you are looking to things other than God, of course you will find yourself unfulfilled. Look to Him only and pursue His heart above all else! He is worth desiring with all of your heart. As you find Him, you will discover that He alone can satisfy your deepest longing. Let God become your greatest fulfillment.