The God who sees me.

A fresh reminder of God’s watchfulness.

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The most powerful moments in my relationship with God have been the ones when He made me aware that He sees me no matter the state I am in, no matter how difficult the circumstances. This usually happens as He gently touches my heart after a long period of silence on His part, or so I perceive because of the presence of a specific trial. The person in the Bible that comes to mind when I think of this attribute of God is Hagar and how God made her aware that He sees her in her desperate need. We all know how Sarah, Abraham’s wife sent her away to perish in the wilderness. But God was exactly there and He provided for her needs, sustaining her life and the life of her child. If God had a plan for the child born from Sarah’s striving to accomplish God’s promises in her life, how much more does God have a plan for us- children adopted by our Heavenly Father? I love this side of God- His love and gentleness, though I am well aware that He is also a consuming fire. I’m sure you’ve had experiences with God in your own life when you tasted of His goodness. I know I have and even though His mercy is also what drives His discipline in our lives, I take great delight in how God tenderly draws near to our souls. Looking back over the past 10 years, I can easily trace His loving Hand, though it was not so easily seen in the midst of the trials. I moved from the United States to Australia 5 years ago when I got married. The way God weaved my life throughout my waiting period before meeting my husband and how He connected our hearts and led us toward marriage is something that still amazes me. I’ve had the privilege of living God’s dream for this area of my life and it has enlarged my trust in Him greatly. Like most young women, I was dreaming of life in pink colour once I stepped into this chapter of my life. Though it is so beautiful being married to the one God chose for me and I am blessed beyond measure, I’ve never imagined that moving to a different continent would be a trial in itself. God faithfully provided for me here more than I dreamt of and I was so happy about moving away but I’ve been journeying through a season of change since my relocation. The church I moved to is completely different from what I have expected and I haven’t been able to serve the way I was used to in the past. I suddenly found myself battling a degree of loneliness because I found it hard to find like-minded people to befriend. Needless to say, the emptiness of being away from my mom and my family became more and more burdensome to my heart. Somehow I foolishly thought that God was done molding me but He caused me to continue to undergo the fires of testing because He is still polishing me into the image of Christ. Today, as I sensed the nearness of God and His answer to my prayers of living more abandoned to Him, I just knew that He had always been there. He is here, nearer than I can imagine and He has been my husband since I have made a covenant with Him through baptism. He kept me humble by teaching me to allow Him to work more in me than through me. He had also transformed my loneliness into a heart cry to be closer to Him because He is enough! Yes, my heart was flourishing because of the blessedness of having the love of a husband, but if I didn’t experience those hard circumstances, I wouldn’t have felt such a desperate need to be closer to God. He is the God who sees us and is never far from us. He had been with me in this far away side of the world and He is more than enough! He wasn’t distant during these years, He was growing my faith in Him by walking alongside me instead of holding my hand constantly. Will you trust that God sees you despite your circumstances? He has a plan in the midst of your wilderness.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. styleorsensibility says:

    Powerful post! I believe that this spoke to me exactly at the point where I am currently in my life. I haven’t left the country, but I’m in a new state with new people, a new church, away from my loved ones and trying to find my way. My exact feelings were that I feel as though I’m in this new wilderness. I left my old church where the Lord used it to grow me and help me become more and more of what he wanted me to be. Leaving that and stepping into a church with a lot of it’s own issues, away from my family and friends, surrounded by new people can be lonely. I have my husband too and he is a blessing from the Lord, but I’m just trying to figure out what the Lord’s purpose was in bringing me here and find my way in serving. Thanks for the encouraging words. God bless!

    1. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this with me. I get so encouraged to see that God is using my blog to speak to others and it never ceases to amaze me how He speaks to me as well through the very words He writes through me.

  2. Maurice says:

    Estera every trial is for a purpose and I am happy to know that you were able to see God working through the loneliness. I have experience years without friends at the beginning of my Christian journey. I felt rejected but Jesus let me know he allowed all these to happen to get me closer to him. Psalms 4:3 kjv “But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him” Let us allow Christ to work His purpose out in our lives. Have a bless day.

    1. Amen! I pray we will always allow God to work out His purpose in our lives as well.

      1. Maurice says:

        Amen that is important if we really want to walk in our true destiny.

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