More than a feeling.

Pursuing God even when He seems so far away.

no matter what

I like feeling close to God. The best memories in my relationship with Him are the ones when He showed Himself mighty on my behalf, or those moments when He shows me a glimpse into what He’s doing in the backstage of my life. At the moment, I wish I felt closer to God than I do. In fact, He seems farther and farther away with every attempt to draw closer to Him. In 2 Corinthians 5:7, the Bible says, for we walk by faith, not by sight. We all seem to know that we shouldn’t base of relationship with God on our feelings, but all too often we do. I wonder what Abraham felt when God told Him that he will one day have an heir, his wife being barren. Better than that, God promised Him many, many descendants. God makes it clear that He values faith and He places us in the very position to need to exercise it. Though feeling far away from God can indicate that we have sin separating us from Him, I do believe God causes us to long for His nearness in order to seek Him more desperately. Since I’ve stepped into a covenant with God 11 years ago, He had always given me a sense of desperation when it comes to my relationship with Him. I was never content with a little bit of God, but always wanted to make sure that I get the most of Him. It’s no different now when the cares and responsibilities of married life weigh upon my shoulders. I long for God. I long to feel the closeness of His chest against my head, if that makes any sense. I’ve had such blessed moments with God when I just knew He was as close as my breath. It was remarkable! Even as I sat down to write this post, I found myself unsure of what to write about. I felt like I don’t deserve to be writing about Him because I wished I had more of Him than I do, but when was it ever about me? So, I wanted to serve Him through my writing again, and I was reminded once more that I always have something to write about because God hasn’t changed. Even writing about desiring to feel close to God proves that He is the one drawing me. And who other places in my heart the desire to serve Him through my blog if not Himself? Yes, we need to walk with God not based on our feeling but based on who He is. Sometimes we don’t experience Him more because we have made ourselves an idol. Something that symbolises God to us but that isn’t God. We do that when we believe only some things about Him but not all. Hebrews 13:8 says, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. He never changes. Even when He seems dead to you, He is still alive. God wants us to feel close to Him and He will honour those that seek Him with all of their heart!

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