Pain does not have the final say.
I just needed a moment to be by myself. Every time the pain of that memory resurfaced, I felt overcome by so many emotions. I wanted to be free of that experience but the wound those words caused me still felt raw. When the reminders came, it felt like I was being strangled on the inside and my soul struggled to breathe. It robbed me of the ability to move forward and it clouded my understanding of my present reality. Can you relate? We all have been wounded in one way or another. The hard truth is, we have also been the ones that wounded others through our gestures, words, or actions. We can even wound by our silence if we choose not to speak when we should actually say something. It is hard to open up about our struggle to move on to the people around us because they can’t really understand us. At times, it can even seem that God can’t understand us either and that He has actually deserted us.
When we have a wound, we are easy targets for the enemy and he loves to plant doubt and lies about God into our heart. The truth is, we can trust Christ because He was wounded more than we will ever be- on the cross. The Bible says that, He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not (Isaiah 53:3 ESV). As much as it may seem that God doesn’t care about our pain, He does. We might wonder why He allowed it in the first place. There are many mysteries of God when it comes to suffering and we can never truly decipher His ways. God is not the author of pain- satan is, but God can use pain for our good and His glory. I have seen it so clearly in my own life, how God’s hand can redeem the ashes of our lives and make something truly beautiful out of them. The important thing is to trust Him with our pain and not to close our heart to Him. God can start the work of healing in our hearts when we let Him inside our hurt and ask Him to give us the grace to forgive the offense. When the pain fights to resurface, remember that God is at work in the midst of it and that His grace is enough for you to move forward. Find fresh courage today!
[God promises] to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified. Isaiah 61:3